Crushed

Having a crush on someone can be incredibly stressful. God forbid that person is a friend and I mean a real friend. Not someone you associate with largely due to geography and means. Someone who you maintain communication with at any given time regardless of obstacles in a reasonable manner. Having a crush on your friend is uncomfortable because you don’t really know how you are supposed to act. Should you act on it or should you keep it to yourself? How long can you even keep it to yourself? Hell do they already know? Are you hiding a secret that’s well-known? Things like that are what go through your head and it can be crippling. Compound that with an already incomplete set of social skills and you have a toxic combination. In the past I’ve been in a situation where I wanted more than friendship and it was denied. It is such a miserable experience and you should avoid it at all cost. I’m going to be honest with you here, if you admit to a friend that you want more and they don’t you should end the friendship right there. Easier to avoid any potential fallout and hurt feelings. I don’t need the person I’m trying to get over in my life and in my face. I need distance of the highest degree. Unfortunately I’ve been in too many of those kinds of situation and it has worn thin on my soul. At the beginning of this year I swore I would stop getting in these kinds of situation and yet here I am in July caught the fuck up in yet another one. It’s not going to be easy but I know I have to end it now before it goes full tilt which should be in a few months with my luck.

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